2-Year Check UP

My blogging days are drawing to a close I think - no time to even read other blogs let alone write mine.

Anyway, Braeden had his 2-year check-up early this month. He weighed 25 pounds (20th percentile), was 35 inches tall (75th percentile), only got one vaccination, is doing great. Still not talking much, but he's got about 20 words and a few phrases down, and that's fine with his pediatrician, so it's fine with me, although I can't wait for him to start chatting away.

His playgroup had a speech pathologist visit 2 weeks ago, so we got a mini private consulation with her. She wouldn't even consider seeing him until he's 2 years and 10 months old, the magic age according to her. That made me feel better.

Yesterday was traumatic for all of us. Brae had to go for a blood test to determine what food allergy he has, after the reaction he had awhile back. The pediatrician thinks it's peanuts, but we'll find out. The little guy did very well at the lab all things considered. Once the needle was in, he stopped crying and seemed to relax more. It probably hurt less than those awful vaccinations.

As for me, my eye is still being a pain. I had my radiation cataract surgery in August, but the retina continues to be swollen, so I'm on drops for another month, then the doc will reevaluate and see where we go from here. He's not able to do any further laser surgery, since there's no leaking. My retina just likes swelling up.

But I guess the bottom line here is that my blogging days are basically over. I'll still post if something interesting happens, but otherwise my posts will be few and far between. I've enjoyed all this, but time to move on, at least for now. Good luck and happiness to all of you. Thanks for sharing your stories, and for reading mine. Take care.

Braeden Turns Two

Yesterday (Sunday, Sept. 21) was Braeden's 2nd birthday. Where has the time gone?

We had a little party for him at the house on Saturday with family and friends, then spent his special day quietly (he's getting over a cold). Thanks to his grand parents for coming to his party, bringing some food, and for his card and birthday money. They couldn't stay long, but we were glad they could stop by.

Thanks to everyone for their email, e-cards, greeting cards and gifts. Braeden enjoyed his party. He loved the pizza his Daddy picked up for him, and the Baskins Robbins ice cream cake I got for him. Thanks to our neighbors also for their good wishes, cards and gifts. The outpouring of love for Braeden was overwhelming, and we'll never forget it. Thanks again for remembering our son on his 2nd birthday.

As for my eye, it's healed well. I had the stitches removed a week ago and was finally able to order new eyeglasses late in the week. I go back to the retina specialist in mid-Oct. to be sure the cancer's still gone, but thankfully the cornea problems have been rectified.

Great Post-Op Report

Yesterday was my post-op exam. I got a great eye report. My vision in the surgery eye is now 20/60, where before surgery it was zero. And that's without glasses for that eye. The pressure is great, so no risk of glaucoma. They've been watching for that.

We stopped at my optometrist on the way home and I had him pop out the right lens of my eye glasses - don't need it now. My glasses look a little funny missing one lens, but until I get the stitch removed in about a month, I can't get new glasses. So hopefully problems with that eye are finally behind me, after 4 years of dealing with it, the past year being blind in that eye.

We all stopped for ice cream to celebrate. Brae loves ice cream, but his new favorite food is watermelon. Dang he can eat a lot of that stuff. He roamed around the waterfall there and then we headed home for his afternoon nap - late, but he was exhausted.

Now it's on to planning Braeden's 2nd birthday party, just a small gathering here at the house with cake and ice cream. DH and I will take Brae to the zoo ourselves 1st, then have people come over to help us celebrate. It's hard to believe he's 23 months old today.

We have to take Braeden next week for allergy testing. That won't be a fun thing for the little guy, but we really need to know what the allergen was that caused his allergic reaction. I'll let you know when we find out anything.

My Surgery's Over

I had my cataract surgery this morning. My inlaws were kind enough to arrive about 5:30 a.m. to take care of Braeden while DH and I were at the hospital. Nobody should have to be up at that early hour.

We had to be there at 7:00 a.m., my surgery was at 8:30 a.m. Everything went well. I won't know for 1-2 weeks how much vision I'll end up with, but I've got a lot more now than I had before the surgery, and my pupil's still dilated. It should be even better by morning. Before the surgery I was totally blind in that eye - the one that had cancer 4 years ago, which they treated with radiation, the radiation doing so much damage.

The surgery wasn't even uncomfortable even though I was awake throughout the procedure, and I've had no pain or anything. I've got 3 bottles of different drops to use 4 times a day for the next month, but at least I can use them all at the same time - confusing if I had to stagger them.

I go back to see the surgeon tomorrow (Wednesday) for a post-op check-up, but to me everything's fine. DH is off work this week to take care of Braeden - no bending or lifting for me for awhile, hopefully not for too long.

Brae was a tired little guy tonight, but he had a fun day and wasn't upset that daddy and mommy weren't here for awhile. Thanks for the prayers and support.

Braeden To Urgent Care

I had to rush Braeden to urgent care late Thursday afternoon. He had a bad allergic reaction to something he'd eaten. The bottom line though is that he's perfectly fine now, and will go in about 3 weeks for allergy testing to see what the offending food is.

Two possibilities - I gave him half a peanut before the reaction happened, his first peanut. I hope it's not that, but of course it's possible. I think the offender was a red mini popsicle. He loves all the popsicles, but wasn't too keen to eat the red one. He ate it though.

Here's my reasoning for it being the popsicle over the peanut. The red, itchy, bumpy rash was around his mouth, chin, throat, neck, upper chest, and the base of his right thumb, next to his index finger, where he held the popsicle stick, everywhere popsicle juice would have dripped. There was nothing anywhere else on his body.

As soon as I saw the rash I washed him down with a warm wash cloth, then raced him next door to a neighbor, who offered to drive us to urgent care. She's got 2 children of her own, had nobody to take care of them (I know that feeling), and I knew Brae and I would be fine. DH met us there.

The doctor examined Brae. By then the rash was nearly gone. But as a precaution she gave him an oral steroid, DH picked up children's Benadryl for that night and on Friday, and I gave him a nice oatmeal bath. He was perfectly back to himself Friday, playing at the park, doing all his normal things. What a scare though.

That morning I'd had to go for lab work at 7am, as part of my pre-op physical exam, which was the day before. Too much to deal with in 24 hours. My glucose numbers aren't as low as the doctor wants, so he's increased my meds a bit at night. It seems to be helping. But my surgery is definitely on for mid August. I'm nervous about it, but hopefully it'll give me at least a little vision back in that eye - I don't even see shapes now, everything's just white.

Will keep you posted on Brae if there are any changes. Any thoughts on which of the two culprit foods could have caused his allergic reaction? I really hope it's not peanuts, but if it is, we'll deal with it.

Latest Zoo Trip

Off we all went last weekend to the zoo, us and 3 of DH's co-workers and their families. Braeden had a grea time seeing some of the bigger animals. He was running too fast down a pathway though, and took a tumble, getting his 2nd boo-boo, this time on his knee. Since then he's fallen 3 times and whacked the same spot. Par for the course at this age.

My eye surgery is scheduled for mid-August. I'm scared half to death about more surgery, but I really need it done. Being blind in one eye ain't fun, and I'm lucky there's a fix for my problem, unlike others who lose their vision for one reason or another. Bad timing that my SIL is arriving the day before my surgery and staying for the whole week. DH is taking the week off from work to take care of Braeden, since I'm not allowed to lift anything or bend over for awhile. Braeden's not used to my SIL or his grandparents for that matter, and they appear ready to descend on us to "watch" him. I'm going to need some rest after the surgery, and it won't help to hear Braeden crying because they're here. Oh well, it'll work out somehow.

Otherwise, everything is fine. Brae continues saying more and more words, doing more and more things. I still can't believe he'll be 2 years old in less than 2 months - scary where the time went.

Miscellanous Stuff

Where to begin, after so long without posting - sorry about that. This may be long.

DH has been fighting some type of infection literally for months (bacterial we finally find out). Then he had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics they put him on and broke out in a very itchy and red rash. Add a rear-end car collision into the mix (he was the hittee and not the hitter). He's still a bit sore after two weeks, but got checked out and it's basically muscular. Hooray for that. He's driving a rental while our car's in the shop - courtesy of the other guy's insurance company.

Did I tell you about our bee situation? Dang if I can remember, so I'll keep it brief. We (and some delivery people) saw bees flying around our roof (we've got a 2-story house). I let them do their thing for 2 weeks, in case they were just visiting, but they appeared to be staying put, so I called in a bee removal company. They sprayed and fogged the area, then came back the next week to remove some roof tiles and the plywood underneath to remove the hive.

Hive? There was a total of 10 honeycombs under our roof tiles, all built within that 2-week period. The scariest thing was that the bee/hive removal guy told me these were Africanized bees. I knew they weren't far away from our area, but never expected some to take up residence under our roof tiles. This particular type of bee doesn't make much honey. They concentrate on having babies, and yikes, they were sure going to town. They showed me one portion of honeycomb that had literally hundreds of bee larvae starting to hatch and break through the wax. Waiting much longer and we'd have had another swarm to have removed.

Ok, so the bees were gone, the honeycombs were gone, and our roof (part of it anyway) was gone. Next was trying to get the roof repair guy in, a fellow who specializes in beehive repairs. It only took a week of "I'll be there this afternoon" and no-show to get it finished, but we're put back together again, hopefully the end of that little nightmare.

Braeden is doing great. He's finally starting to talk more, although he's still the strong, silent type for the most part. He's come out with some phrases recently, "get up", "me doggy", "there ya go" kind of things. His newest exploration areas are the kitchen sink - he's taken to washing the unbreakable dishes and playing in the soapy water - and the spice cupboard. He not only wants to smell everything, which he's done for awhile, now he wants to taste the spices too. His favorite one so far is garlic salt - ewww, not on your finger, straight.

Brae's meals have become more fun now that he'll eat most meat, so long as either a dab of ketchup or mustard appears on his plate - dipping sauce ya know..hehe. He loves mac and cheese, all the usual foods. He feeds himself for the most part, always with either a fork or spoon. I provide both utensils and let him choose which one he wants. He just started drinking some of his milk from a "glass" glass - an old juice glass I brought with me from Canada. I've really got to watch that he's not in a throwing mood (that would be extremely messy), but he's doing a great job. He's been drinking from those red plastic cups that we thrive on in the summer, but this little juice glass is smaller in diameter, so easier for him to sip his milk without getting his shirt soaked.

He found a bare patch in our garden in an area that doesn't get much sun, and he's taken to excavating the place. He hauls out all his gardening tools, dump truck, etc. and goes to town digging, loading up the truck, then moving the dirt somewhere else and dumping it. Next it's on to finding gravel to fill in part of his excavation site, only to then throw everything on the concrete. That's ok, he loves to use the broom, so he helps me sweep.

We took Braeden to a pro baseball game the end of June. He wasn't too interested in the game, but loved the crowd and seemed to have a great time. We passed on the 4th fireworks this year since he's in bed early, but we'll all go next year. We're heading for the zoo this weekend with some friends and their children - should be fun. Braeden loves the zoo.

I'll end this post with some news about me. My diabetes is under control now, so I've rebooked my eye surgery for mid-August. Obviously I'm not looking forward to more surgery on that poor eye of mine, but I'm now totally blind in my right eye, so I'm left with no option at this point. Ok, let's get it over with, and please God, let me regain some vision in that eye. It's really hard not to trip over Brae, or his toys, or the dog, or the stairs even. My depth perception is so off that I even find it hard to pour Brae's milk now without spilling it. Of course he laughs every time I miss. I laugh with him, but I'm not laughing inside. Nobody knows how much vision I'll get back after the surgery, but it's got to be better than what I've got now - zilch. I'll keep you posted.

Enjoy summer everyone!!

Braeden's Sick

Poor Braeden developed a 102 fever yesterday. The little guy was miserable, although Tylenol drops brought it down to 99. He had a rough night though. It doesn't help that we're having a mini heatwave, with temps near 100. I ran the air conditioning for him yesterday, something I try not to do - costs too much with central a/c.

This morning his temperature was 101 before Tylenol, but dropped back to normal and has remained there the rest of the day, his appetite has returned and so has his activity level, although I'm trying to keep him a bit quiet (not much luck). I'm keeping my fingers crossed that his fever doesn't come back tonight.

I called his pediatrician just to be on the safe side, but she said to just let it run its course, that he's picked up a little virus. That's what I figured, but I basically wanted the fever recorded on his chart. I think he's on the mend now.

The bee guys are coming next week to remove the hive underneath our roof. I'm not looking forward to that, but with 2 guys coming, hopefully they'll be able to finish in one day, then I can call the roof repair guys to take care of the damage from removing the hive. At least there aren't any more bees around. That was scary.

It's Been Awhile

While the url for Braeden's site will stay the same, I just had to change the title of his blog. He's not a baby now, so this new name is much more fitting for a little boy.

Sorry it's been so long since I wrote. Things have become even more hectic in the time that's passed. I'm not even sure I can remember all of it.

My doctor released me to have the cataract surgery I need, but I decided after all the stuff I went through accepting the fact I'm diabetic and dealing with that plus everything else, that I'd take a breather before plunging in for more trauma to my poor eye. I can still see shadows with that bad eye, and I know my vision will be greatly improved once the cataract is removed, but I need some time to enjoy Braeden without a surgery date hanging over my head. I'll rebook early in July.

Brae's been so busy it's hard to keep up with him, but we do fine. He's still not talking a whole lot as he approaches his 21-month birthday next week, but his lack of actual speech sure isn't preventing him from making his "demands" known. He loves to grab your hand, or your shirt, or anything else he can get hold of, and drag you to the fridge, a cupboard, the TV, anywhere. He couldn't be more clear if he flat out said "follow me over here because I want what's there".

He's still helping to dust around the house, and since I last wrote has taken to dragging out the vacuum when he thinks the carpet needs some attention. He's finally tall enough to reach the locks to the garage door - both the button lock on the door knob and the deadbolt lock. Luckily he hasn't quite figured out that he has to turn the door knob in order to get the door open. He's constantly reaching in my pocket now looking for my keys - he knows he needs a key to open a door, but not that he only needs one from the outside.

He and I drag the trash cans back into the yard on trash pick-up day, me holding one handle, Braeden the other. He really loves to help. He insists on washing his hands at the kitchen sink afterwards, before and after all his meals, and several other times throughout the day. He pulls the kitchen chair over to the sink, climbs up and stands there waiting. He can't quite reach the faucet yet, but he will soon. Along that same line, he also loves to help me wash the dishes, unbreakable things only of course. I know he'd love to wash some of my mother's crystal, but I think I'll pass on that.

We got him a swimming pool, and he absolutely loves it. The weather hasn't been real warm recently though, so we packed it away in the garage for the time being. It hasn't been exactly safe for any of us to be playing outside lately, more in a minute.

Last weekend he attended his first birthday party, and he had a great time eating pizza and a little cake. He's not real fond of any type of meat at the moment, but he loved the pepperoni on that pizza.

Braeden will be attending his first pro baseball game the end of the month. We've got tickets to go to see the Padres play the Seattle Mariners. I'm not sure how he'll take to that, but we'll give it a try. He's enjoyed every other place we've taken him.

Two weeks ago someone pointed out that it looked like we had a bee hive on our roof. I couldn't see a whole lot of bees up there, so left it for awhile, in case it was just a swarm and would move on. It didn't, so I got a bee removal company in this week and they sprayed/fogged up there, which will kill off the bees, which the guy said were Africanized bees - not a good thing.

He also informed me there's what he estimates to be a 10-pound hive under our roof tiles, so he'll be coming back next week to cut through our roof tiles and the plywood underneath to get to the hive, remove it, clean up all the honey, wax and debris, then paint it with a waterproof solution until we can get another company in to make the roof repairs. Hello government rebate check - and good bye. So far it's over $1,500, with more expense to come {sigh}.

I'm sure there's a lot more to write, but I'll save it for another time. I've been reading your blogs - sorry I haven't had time to write until now.

Off To The Zoo

Yesterday we took Braeden to the zoo for the first time. He looked around at everything quietly at first, then saw his first wildlife, a huge group of flamingos with a few ducks in the area, and he went absolutely wild, pointing, waving, smiling. He loved the petting zoo, marching right over to the first real goat he's ever seen to swipe at it with his hand. We really wanted to get him to see the larger animals, but they're far from the entrance, and we didn't want to travel that far on Brae's first trip. That's for next time.

The zoo is gigantic, so we didn't get to see much of it yesterday in the few hours we had, but got a year pass so we have free admission for the next 365 days. I know we'll spend many weekends there.

My cataract surgery has been postponed. My family doctor refused to sign the surgery form because my diabetes is out of control. I've been in denial that I even have it for over a year, but it's time to get back to reality and deal with it. So I've started diabetic medication, changed my diet drastically, and the glucose numbers have started to come down. My doctor threatened throwing me in the hospital if I don't have them down by this coming week. I'm not real pleased with where they are, but at least they're heading in the right direction.

Ok, enough about me and my stupidity and back to Mr. Braeden (something I've called him almost since the day he was born). DH says he'll think his first name is Mister if I don't stop...hehe. Brae's picking up new words every day now - finally. A lot of what he says isn't clear enough to decipher the words, but he's getting there. His latest thing is to grab you by the shirt and pull you where he wants to go.

This morning he wanted in the fridge, so pulled me in that direction. He's not able to open the door yet, but makes it known he wants to look inside. When I opened the door he reached in and grabbed one of his yogurt containers - that's what he wanted as part of his breakfast, and that's what he got. Once he had the container in hand, he was ready to leave the fridge and head to the table and his high chair for breakfast.

Will post more later.

All Healed

Braeden had his post-op exam just over a week ago, and while he was still a bit swollen and bruised at the time, he got a great report, everything looking good.

Now the sutures have all dissolved and he's totally back to himself, although he's discovered great fascination with his private parts, maybe because things look so different there now, and probably feel different too.

He continues one of his favorite things - somersaults. They were temporarily suspended after his surgery, but he's up to doing them again. He's also just starting to use the potty - success twice this past week. He's still pretty young for it, so I wouldn't push him, but if he shows an interest I'll definitely help him along.

We're having a heatwave right now, so Brae's not too interested in playing outside. But last week when it was cooler, he was playing ball with the boy next door (who's 7 years old). He was tossing the ball to Braeden, and we were both surprised when Brae caught it most of the time. He loves J. so much. I'm glad he has time to play with Braeden most afternoons after he gets home from school.

I'm gearing up for my cataract surgery in 2 weeks. I hope and pray to get some vision back in that eye, because I'm really down to just shadows now, and it's getting really frustrating. I can hardly see well enough to get Braeden's meals, even changing his diaper's harder now. But while the radiation caused all the damage, at least once the cataract's removed that part of the damage will be gone.

I've got so much to write about Braeden's adventures, but dangit, when I sit down to write, I totally forget most of them. I'll have to make a list for next time.

Surgery Is Over

Braeden had his surgery yesterday. The procedure went well, the doctor was extremely pleased, and Braeden was a brave little guy. We were home 4 hours after the surgery began, so it wasn't a long stay. It was sad seeing them wheel him into the discharge room. All we could see was his little face since they had him strapped to the gurney and he was covered with blankets. He was sobbing, his whole body shaking. Once they unstrapped him and I could hold him, he settled right down.

They gave him what they call a "caudal" - an injection in his lower back to numb the surgical area, something that lasts 4-5 hours post surgery. He couldn't walk at all while the caudal was still active - his legs were numb and he couldn't stand up. Once it started to wear off, I took him outside for a few minutes. He could hear the neighborhood kids out there and wanted to go out to see them, but didn't want to stay outside long.

After the caudal wore off, Brae had considerable pain. You could tell when he walked that it hurt very badly, and he couldn't bend down to pick up a book. All he wanted was to snuggle on the couch with daddy, hanging on tight to his blankie and teddy, then trying to get up and walk again. We got a prescription for Tylenol with codeine, but so far haven't given it to him, but have stuck with simple Tylenol drops. They seem to take the pain away, and the surgeon suggested using those first, and saving the strong stuff for those times when he might really need it.

He's slept through the night, which surprises me. I'll get him up at his usual time, change his diaper and get some Tylenol in him before his breakfast. He vomited once after we got him home yesterday, which they said was very possible, the car ride upsetting his tummy, but after that he was holding down juice, water, yogurt, and eventually his dinner (we kept it on the light side).

I know he'll still be very sore today, but he's allowed to have a bath Wednesday, although I think we'll stick with sponge baths a few more days, and goes for his post-op check-up the 16th. The sutures are the dissolving kind, so no suture removal in his future.

And so the hypospadias repair is over. The surgeon didn't have to repair Braeden's urethra, so no catheter or anything. He straightened the chordee (bend), and completed the circumcision nature started, and that was it.

Please Pray For Braeden

Braeden's hypospadias surgery is this coming Monday. Please pray for him and for me. If I don't have a total meltdown before this is all over, it'll be a miracle. The thoughts of that little guy undergoing surgery terrify me, but I know it's something that needs to be done, and better now, when he won't really remember anything about it.

I'll post again sometime next week to let anyone who still reads this know how he's doing. I'll concentrate on my own upcoming surgery after Braeden's is over and he's recovered. At least I've got a month between his and mine. Sheesh, medical stuff really sucks, especially when it all seems to pile up at once.

We'd all appreciate any extra prayers you can send Brae's way. Thanks!!

Happy 18-Month Birthday

Wow, where has the last 18 months gone? Happy year and a half birthday, Braeden. You're growing into quite the little man now, the little baby we brought home only 18 months ago is gone, replaced by the most gentle, good natured and curious little guy I've ever met (no, I'm not biased..hehe).

While Braeden's still not saying a whole lot, he definitely makes his wants and needs known in non-verbal ways. He loves his new slide/fort, a huge smile on his face when he slides his stuffed animals down first, following right after them.

He can almost put his jacket on by himself. He tries to put his shoes on, but that's not happening any time soon. He helps me undress him in the morning and at night. He knows some shirts go off over his head, others have buttons. Buttons have always fascinated him, as do zippers. He loves "dusting" with a baby wipe, and does it every morning. He also hauls out the vacuum cleaner on occasion - ok, I get the hint, time to vacuum again. He's drawing in his big coloring book now. Only scribbles obviously, but it's a start.

One of his favorite things is running around the yard carrying a little flower pot which he stuffs full of flowers that have fallen to the ground, the odd old leaf kicking around, anything he can find. Our hibiscus plants are in full bloom, but the flowers don't last long, so he's got a new supply of fallen ones each day to put in his pot, squealing as he finds another one. He also loves going to the park so he can climb the play structure all the way to the top, then with some help walk back down to the slides.

He's eating with his fork and spoon almost totally now. He doesn't want to eat unless I had him an approprite utensil so he can feed himself. Same with his milk - he wants to hold his own cup, doesn't want me to help him. He's an independent little guy.

He's still sleeping 12 hours at night, and has for a very long time. I'm always up early for some "me" time, and can hear the music or ocean sounds coming from his crib aquarium. He turns it on and off, changes the music, adjusts the volume (usually blasting it). The time change didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. Occasionally he'll have a morning nap, but usually he only wants to play quietly in his pack-n-play for an hour, which we've got set up in the living room. He has a great afternoon nap of 1-2 hours.

Tomorrow is our neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt, and we're all set to go. I need to buy a little Easter basket for him to collect eggs, but I'll do that tomorrow morning. Last night I filled the 12 plastic eggs with candy, that will be Braeden's contribution to the egg hunt. I know he'll have fun, especially since he's so familiar with the park and loves it there.

So Happy Birthday, Braeden. Happy Easter to all of you.

Laser Surgery

First, a little about Braeden, since this is really a blog about him, although I really need to blog the medical stuff I'm going through right now too. I don't have anyone to talk to but whoever still reads this blog, and it helps me.

Braeden had no reaction to his vaccinations last week, thank God for that. Next on his plate is his hypospadias surgery in 3 weeks {gulp}. He's enjoying the new slide/fort combo DH got for him last weekend. It's a great place for him to climb, and he loves his slide. We have to check his left shoe. It's got a rough edge inside that's hurting him, so we'll have to see if we can glue it down or we'll get him another new pair of shoes. He's fine for a bit with it, then starts pointing to his foot, limping a little, which stops when we take off his shoe.

We took Brae to a little carnival in town last weekend, and he had a great time with all the games there. He wanted to visit each one. He really wanted to go on rides, but he's too small yet, even for the carousel - next year. We won him 3 toys, and he's enjoying those. He also got to sample his first cotton candy, a big hit of course.

I had to undergo laser surgery yesterday on my right eye (the one that had the cancer and was treated with radiation). Not a fun time, but I'm almost totally blind in that eye now, and the laser surgery will hopefully give me back a little vision. Back we go today, but to the cornea specialist this time. I've got a radiation cataract that will have to be removed in the next 1-2 months. The retina specialist finds it hard to do the laser treatment with the cataract blocking his vision looking inside. Not looking forward to that obviously, but I just want even a little vision back in that eye. I'm finding it harder to change Brae's diaper now, to feed him, because I can't see very well now. Vision correction via glasses/contacts isn't possible. But you deal with what you have to, and thank God for DH and Braeden's support. I know Brae doesn't understand, but he knows mommy's not feeling too well when I have an appointment like yesterday and he brings me some of his toys, almost like he's trying to cheer me up. I'll post later about this subject as things develop - hopefully for the better.

Speaking of feeding Brae, he's pretty much feeding himself now. He does a great job "stabbing" food with his fork and getting both into his mouth before the food falls off. He's not quite as good with the spoon, depending on what's on it. He hasn't quite got the hang of holding the spoon straight as he moves it towards his mouth, but he's sure got the fork down well.

We took Braeden's pediatrician's advice and got him a potty seat over the weekend. It's comical to watch him. I think somehow he knows what it's for, but he's not at the point of being able to pull his jeans down and taking his diaper off - duh. But he runs over and sits on it fully clothed, and after he gets up, sure enough he's "gone" in his diaper. So he's got the concept down, but then it's too early for the real thing. We'll work at it slowly, when he's ready. He insists on leaving his potty seat in the middle of the living room floor, and kicks up quite a stink if I put it away..hehe.

Brae's taken to invading the fridge, providing I open it for him. He looks in there and then decides what he wants and pulls it out, be it a teething toy (I keep a bunch in there so they're nice and cold on his incoming teeth), a container of his yogurt, his cup of water. Umm, any idea why he keeps reaching for an unopened bottle of wine? That's the only thing other than his own stuff that he tries to grab...hehe.

Happy St. Patrick's Day on Monday. We'll be wearing the green, even though we're not Irish. Have a great weekend all.

We're All Sick

Oh, this really sux. Braeden and DH got bad coughs with phlegm on Friday, DH with a ripping sore throat. We think they picked up the "bug" at my retina doctor appointment last week, since they both got sick the same day.

DH was off work Monday, went to the doctor Tuesday, only to be told he's got an upper respiratory infection (the common cold). Neither of us has ever seen a "cold" like this one. We were starting to think maybe it was strep, nope. Brae's being a real trooper. His cough is better than it's been, but now he's got a charming discharge coming from his nose. Still, after he rests for awhile he's off playing again. A nice warm bath helped his chest congestion a lot yesterday.

Braeden was to go this morning for his vaccinations, but I called Tuesday and they said no shots for him for at least 2 weeks, until after he's over this cold. Talk about the medical community run-around. Our pediatrician wasn't there that day, so the on-call pediatrician returned my call and said "no shots". When I called to cancel today's appointment and reschedule, they wouldn't let me, the nurses saying he'd be fine to have his shots with his cold, as long as he doesn't have a fever (which he doesn't). Still, that's not what the doctor said. After being on hold for nearly an hour, the doctor called back again to reaffirm his position - no shots. He said he'd be having an emergency nurses' meeting immediately and one of them would call back. A different story on that return call - Brae's appointment for today was cancelled and a new one made for about 3 weeks from now.

By Monday, I wasn't feeling too well myself, and now I've been stricken full force with the same "bug" DH and Braeden have. Not a fun thing, but I've never been one to give in to a cold, and usually keep going, doing the best I can. I was worn out by the time last night rolled around, and was glad when Braeden went to bed - ok, so I put him to bed about half an hour early. We'll all be fine in a few days. Meanwhile, we'll be gentle with ourselves.

What really sucks is that DH's whole family arrived in town last night for a week, and they wanted lots of Brae play time (sister has multiple kids) and a family photo done. Play time is definitely out for Brae for the next day or two - I don't want those other children catching this on their vacation or risk Brae getting sicker. As for the family photo this weekend, it'll depend on how we all feel. I certainly won't drag Brae to an outdoor photo session if he's still sick. While it's by no means cold here, it's too cold for him to be outside for hours while they take various poses so we can select our favorites. I'll keep you posted.

For now, I just want to rest as much as I can, relax, and not think about anything else.

Retina Leaking Again

Just a quick little background - I was diagnosed over 3 years ago with a cancerous tumor on my retina. They inserted a radiation plaque (like a disc) behind my eye in one surgery, left it there for 6 days, then removed it in a second surgery. That was supposed to kill off the tumor - and it did!!

I had my regular retina specialist check-up today. The good news is that the cancer is still gone, the tumor has vanished. The bad news is that because of radiation damage my retina is once again swollen and is leaking fluid (just like a year ago), and I've also got a radiation cataract which will have to be removed. My vision in that eye has deteriorated badly. I can now only read the 2nd line on the eye chart, and new glasses wouldn't help. They won't let me wear contact lenses either. I have to accept the fact that the vision in my treated eye is basically gone.

I had to have dye injected into my vein and over 100 photos taken of both eyes, of course many more of the radiation-damaged eye. Both eyes are still sore from all the poking and prodding, so many photos with the camera so close to my eyes, the bright flashes literally temporarily blinding me.

I'm waiting to hear back from the retina specialist once he views the pictures, on what the game plan will be this time. Last year they gave me a steroid injection into my eyeball, which hurt like sh** and didn't do anything to help. I refuse to do that again, although I'd definitely go for more laser surgery (I had two surgeries last year) to try and close off the leaks. I've gotta tell you though, I'm getting so dang sick and tired of dealing with this eye of mine, my lack of vision, the discomfort of feeling like there are 100 hairs in there that I can never get out (foreign body sensation), that it's tempting to just let them do an enucleation and get rid of the thing. It's almost useless now anyway.

I thank God every day that my other eye remains in perfect condition and with perfect vision. At least I can see Braeden with that eye. With my bad eye I can't even see his face anymore. It's just a blur. I've become paranoid about my good eye. If something happened to that one, I'd be legally blind and would never be able to see my son again. I have to think positively that my good eye will remain that way.

Thanks for letting me vent a bit here - this is definitely not fun stuff

Molars Arriving

Poor Braeden's finally getting his molars. The two top ones have broken through his gums, the two bottom ones are nearly there. He's drooling up a storm, chowing down on all the teething toys he's got. It doesn't stop him from bombing around or from sleeping, so we haven't given him any meds.

He's now operating his little TV and DVD player on his own, turning both on, ejecting an old DVD, throwing it across the room and inserting a new one in the tray, closing the door. Then he heads over to his Elmo chair and sits down to watch. All the DVDs we have are Baby Einstein ones, so I don't object to him watching about 10 minutes of one DVD in the morning after his breakfast. By then he's bored and ready to move on. When he's done I have to pull the plugs on both the TV and DVD player, or he'll play with them all day.

His latest antic is trying to climb up the back of the couch in the family room, looking over there, playing with the window blinds, then throwing whatever he's got in his hand over the back. I have a very hard time navigating "stuff" to get behind there and retrieve the wayward object, since we've got it blocked off so he can't get behind the couch, but so far I've managed to get his things back for him, him watching me over the top.

He goes Februar 14th for his next check-up and round of vaccinations. Obviously not looking forward to that, but it'll soon be over with for another few months. He hasn't been for shots in 4 months, although we had him once to the pediatrician when he had a weird cold (cough and wheezing) awhile back. It disappeared in a few days.

As for me, I've got an appointment this morning with my retina specialist, to check on the remnants of the cancerous tumor they found (and treated with radiation) 3 1/2 years ago. At m last check-up the tumor was totally gone - I'm praying that's still the case. These dang appointments still scare me, but I'm hoping and praying for a good report today. I'm usually there 3+ hours. It's long and gruelling, and I'm ready to sleep by the time I get home. I'll let you know how things turn out.

Surgery Scheduled

Sorry not to have posted for so long. Things have been very busy for us. Braeden's extremely active now, and loving life. He's so much fun, but in the shadows I've been dealing with the issues below.

Braeden was born with hypospadias - a congenital abnormality of his "private parts". We've been very leery of having this surgery done, because initially we were told they'd have to repair his urethra, which could mean several additional surgeries down the road because it can cause fistulas to develop, he'd have catheters, not a nice prospect, but that situation has changed for the better.

Now surgery will only entail repair to his minor chordee (his penis is bent). After weeks of research, getting a lot of information, and finally speaking with the urology surgeon's office, we're going ahead with the surgery. It's scheduled for Monday, April 7, 2008.

Nervous? Off the charts, but if we don't have the repair done now, it could pose major problems for Braeden in childhood and as an adult - he'd look "different" than other little boys, and could have problems being intimate, may not be able to have children. After the surgery, those problems will be non-issues for him when he grows up. I'll keep you posted.

Otherwise, everything's fine. I've been taking Braeden to Kidsville, a great little "town" set up for the children to play without a whole lot of supervision. I still stay pretty close to Brae while he's playing since there are a lot of older kids there and I want to be sure he doesn't get knocked over by a racing car zooming past, but I let him roam from building to building, hanging back so he doesn't see much of me. His favorite buildings are the school house where he "draws" on the blackboard, plays with puzzles and looks at books; and the take-out restaurant, where he spends most of his time putting the play food into the cupboards, fridge, oven, any compartment available, or sitting at one of the tables with "pizza".

Whoever came up with the Kidsville idea had a great one. It really is like a child-sized town, with all kinds of "buildings" around the perimeter, a park-like setting in the middle with tables and chairs for eating lunch, or having a snack, or just relaxing. Brae loves going there, and I love taking him, especially where our weather's been pretty wet lately. It's impossible to get him to our park up the street since everything's drenched, but Kidsville is always available as a place for him to let off some steam.

I'll keep you posted on Braeden's upcoming surgery, and will try to post more often.